Mental Health Professionals are evil magicians

Published April 27, 2015 by Being Manically Me

Read on and you’ll see why I titled this blog that way…

HI, my name is Gina, and I see a counselor. Not only am I currently seeing a counselor, I have seen one a lot in the past …GASP! OMG!!

For some stupid reason, Counselors, Therapists, Psychiatrists,  etc get a bad rap. No PEOPLE who go to them get a bad rap. I somewhat think it’s an old school thing. Like the older generations would never go to one & if they did, they didn’t say anything because then people would “shame” them. I don’t know. That’s just my guess. Then they pass this stupid thought on to their kids, who probably need counseling because of them. But then they don’t get the help they need & then you end up with drug issues, sex issues and unfortunately suicide.

MHPs (Mental Health Professionals cause I’m lazy and don’t want to type it out every time) are trained to help people work through these issues that could turn them down a bad path or to turn them back from a bad path. I know the non-believers are going to say “no you go to your family or your priest or whatever” but the thing is that MHPs don’t know us. They haven’t already formed their opinion of who we are or who they think we should be so that if you tell them something they don’t want to hear they don’t listen with an open heart. They can’t understand. Maybe because they just haven’t experienced or known anyone who has experienced this. But guess what? MHPs have, do, whatever. That’s what they do. They go to school, they study human behavior, they get trained to listen openly. They also don’t say do this or do that. They help you come to your own solution so you can get yourself out of your own hole. Or maybe they are just there to be an ear. To listen. I like to say I have verbal diarrhea a lot. I just spew forth my thoughts and then I feel better. Some people don’t have the ability to do that. MHPs are there for you to “diarrhea” all over 😉 hee hee

And sometimes you just don’t want to talk to someone you know personally because your issue is embarrassing. And you want to be able to cry, to yell and to have a mental breakdown in a safe environment. Outside in your own life, you have to be strong. When you are with an MHP you don’t have to be strong. They don’t care, they aren’t judging you for crying. They aren’t judging you for feeling the anti-society accepted way that you feel.

I could continue on but let me tell you this. Not too long ago I was talking to someone who was formally someone that I thought I could trust. They are no longer in my life & never will be again. Anyway, I was telling them about something that was very personal, very embarrassing & something they needed to know. Do you know what they said? They said I had mental issues. That don’t I see “those therapists” & they put ideas in your head & made you think things that aren’t true. I literally just stared at them like wtf did you just say? I’M crazy?? That was like the dumbest thing I’ve heard from an adult I think ever. And I told them, for the record, I’ve actually never spoken to a therapist about what I just told you. Well then it turned into I’m a liar and blah blah. Different story.

So for that person is why I have titled this blog Mental Health Professionals are evil magicians. Because that is what they and unfortunately a lot of people think. That they put ideas in our head. Ideas that weren’t there. They have magic powers to do that. And of course its never for the good, always for the bad. Hence, evil magicians.

I will leave you with this, if you have a problem, go to someone & talk to them. Don’t try to deal with it yourself. At least not for too long anyway. If you can’t go to someone close to you, call an MHP. They will help. They won’t judge & they won’t laugh & they won’t think bad of you. They are there to help you with whatever this issue is or whatever it is that is still haunting you from your past. Just get help.

I wish you all Peace…

Advertisements

Why I choose Le-Vel Thrive over Itworks

Published April 25, 2015 by Being Manically Me

Ok so if you know anything about me, you know I’m a trier. I’ll try anything that I know won’t kill me. What have I got to lose right? So let’s see if I can not make a novel out of this post.

I was introduced to Itworks a few years ago. Trying to get rid of some last little baby flab before hubby came home from his last deployment. I had a friend selling the wraps & got one or 2 maybe. Anyway, it worked. Trimmed a little fluff off & I was able to look nice & smooth in my welcome home outfit. So fast forward a few years to now being a full time stay at home mom & looking to supplement income. I was selling Scentsy at the time cause seriously I love Scentsy & wanted good pricing on it. Anywho, in networking I saw some Itworks posts & it looked like a good company with good product & I already knew the wraps worked cause they worked on me a few years ago. I really liked one particular rep & so I signed on with her. Not sure what happened to my body in those years but seriously I couldn’t get the wraps to work like they did. I did trim a bit but not like before. But I put my all in the company because I liked their other products & saw that they could help people. The Greens specifically. That’s some good stuff there. I gave it almost a year and then parted ways because I just couldn’t back it anymore. I mean yes it does work for some but it wasn’t working for me or a few others that I knew personally so I’ve said it before, if I can’t believe in it, I can’t sell it. Now, I still do drink the Greens, mostly because I have a whole unopen container & I like them. They’ve helped my eyesight a lot. I know that sounds weird but that’s probably the biggest thing, is my eyes. I can actually not wear my glasses or contacts & still see well enough to drive.

Ok, so I’m talking to my former Itworks upline, who is now a friend, about the Greens and whatnot & she tells me about Thrive and how she and others have transitioned over because it just seems to be a more effective product. She sends me a 3 day sample pack. Oh, let me back up a minute & tell you what we had been talking about was my lack of energy and inability to lose weight no matter what I do. Ok so she sends me the samples & I’m telling you, Day 1 was the best day I’d had in I can’t even tell you how long. I mean can we say ENERGY?! Oh my God. And not jittery stuff either. I’ve talked before about how I’m a horrible sleeper. Always have been. In high school I took Vivarin & other unmentionable products that pick you up hee hee. That’s how I got through my teens because I was in school full time & been working since I was 15. But my grades stayed up. That’s all that mattered.

So as I got older & especially after having my son, my energy levels just really dropped. I was drinking big coffee every morning & then energy drinks the rest of the day & then in bed by 8. Napping every day if I could. The Itworks Greens helped some at first but not really. I’m telling you nothing helps my energy. Ok so like I said from Day 1 I was up up up. Awake all day, productive, mentally there & engaging. Oh and the appetite suppressant thing. LOVE! Again nothing that has ever claimed to suppress my appetite really has. And I try them all because I have a big appetite. I love to taste food. I love the thought of tasting food & my brain rules that. So I finished up my 3 days & thought gosh I don’t know, the cost isn’t much but we try to live lightly if you know what I mean? I don’t know if I want to lose that out of my budget.

So about 3 sleepy, hungry days later I said I NEED my Thrive!! I chose to just use the patch because that is the one that I thought would be good for now with my budget. I could not wait for the mailman! I wanted to attack him every day! Then the big bonus of this all is I lost 3 lbs in my first full week of using it. You don’t know how huge that is for me! I have PCOS, I cannot lose weight anymore. I’ve changed my eating, I was running 4 days a week, I got a trainer, was going to the gym 5 days. Nothing. It was so frustrating. Even my trainer was baffled. She couldn’t figure it out. Its the PCOS. I got on meds but still. So for me to lose those 3 lbs & then another 2 the next week & then I had a Disneyland pig out trip for my son’s birthday & didn’t gain any weight & I SO should have! And it just continues that way.

I’m about a month & a half into it and I’m still super energetic. I’m up about 5 or 6 am & I go go go until 10 at night. No jitters, no craziness, just pep. I have gotten my house organized, my son’s homeschooling daily, my dog grooming business, dinner made and all these projects I’m working on. My jumbled ADD brain actually keeps up with it all & I don’t feel overwhelmed. And then at night guess what happens? I sleep! Sleep people! Like brain shut off, eyes closed until 5 or 6. Its awesome!

And then the appetite is gone. I mean I get hungry but those cravings for all the bad stuff is gone. Here’s what I eat every day. 2 frozen waffles with peanut butter for breakfast, a fresh fruit smoothie for lunch & a weight watchers recipe (google, pinterest etc) for dinner. Sometimes I’ll have a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich but not often. And I’m good. No rumbly tummy, no drops in my blood sugar. And most of the time for dinner I get about half way through and I’m full. Me full! That never happens. I don’t get full. No product has ever done for me what this product does. Itworks worked for about a week and then nothing. The wraps didn’t work on me at all after I turned 40. The pills didn’t help. Only the Greens but Le-Vel Thrive has a product that is now like the Greens but better.

So there you go. This is why I have made the switch. Please if you have any issues that you just can’t get a handle on, look into this. I have heard a lot of people that use it for pain management too. I don’t have those kind of issues although I did have significantly less painful cramps this month (sorry male readers). I have endometriosis and those suckers can knock you on your feet! Not this time! I am in love with Thrive and I know you will be too! If you have any questions please feel free to comment or email me. CLICK HERE for more info too.

In case you missed it, check out THIS POST I made about the patch. Thrive on!

How Motherhood Has Changed Me Part 2

Published April 20, 2015 by Being Manically Me

Continued …..

To be honest, when I got pregnant I wasn’t really scared of giving up my old life. It was time. I was 35/36. And anyway I was going to be a different mom. I was not going to lose myself in motherhood. Uh uh. No way! And in many ways I haven’t changed. But in many ways I have. Let me explain.

Sleep Then : It used to be that I HAD to have at least 7-8 hours of sleep every night. I was convinced that I wasn’t any good with any less than that. Oh and I did not touch coffee. Nope! My mom has to have her coffee or you don’t want to talk to her and I was not going to be that way plus coffee is bad for you.

Sleep Now: Well if you’re a mom you know what I’m going to say. I’m lucky if I can get 5 hours. I actually got better sleep when he was a baby than I do now. He pretty much always slept through the night. After 3 months I could give him his last bottle at 11 and didn’t hear a peep until about 7. Somewhere around a year & a half is when he started waking up during the night. So long story short, at 4 years of age with him I get about 5 hours of interrupted sleep. Oh can I just mention (cause I’m mean) that dear husband has never, not even one time, gotten up with him. Ever. Did I mention Never? And up until about a month ago I HAD to have coffee every morning. Leave me alone until I’ve finished my cup. It’s actually not real coffee. It’s from a Keurig so its flavored.

Appearance Then: I already mentioned makeup done before leaving the house. Hair straightened because I have thick, coarse hair that doesn’t know if it wants to be wavy, curly or straight. And there’s always hair sticking up somewhere. Hence the must straighten hair necessity. Oh and salon products were a must. My clothes were nice & they were semi expensive. Not going to shop at Target, definitely not Wal-Mart (still don’t..)

Appearance Now: Oh if only you could see me right now at this moment. Here let me show you:

ImageImage

That pretty much represents me all the time now. Sometimes the hair is down but unless I’m going someplace nice, there is rarely make up on. And you know what? I don’t care. I am so comfortable with myself that I don’t feel like I need to put it on. Its not even about being lazy or short on time. It only takes me 5 mins to put on my makeup. I just feel good about myself and who I am & where I am in life. That’s really all I can say. Oh and I love Kohl’s & Ross. Why didn’t I shop there before??

Domestic Life Then: We’re talking housework, “Women’s work”. I have always hated doing anything housework related. When my mom would say “spring cleaning time” or whatever the case would be, I would go & not be found or have a headache or stomach-ache. Anything to get out of being cooped up in the house doing this stuff. Ugh no way! Not going to sew, knit, crochet, cook, etc. It’s just not me. It’s boring & a waste of my energy. In my adult life, my house was ok looking. If someone was coming over, I’d need advance notice or you are going to get a messy house. Dinner was either eating out or fast stuff. Box or bagged prep meals. Frozen food. Now don’t let all this make you think I’m a bad cook. I’m actually quite a good one. I’ve had compliments not complaints. People clean their plate & go for seconds. I just don’t like thinking about what to make & standing in front of a stove making it. I think there are other things I could be doing.

Domestic Life Now: My house is always clean. We’re talking dusting, mopping, vacuuming, bathrooms, windows. Even the ceiling fans get cleaned twice a month. I don’t mind. Its just part of my routine. I started following a program by Fly Lady & it changed how I feel about cleaning. I do a little bit every day. Maybe an hour or an hour twice a day. Company can come over anytime & I’d be fine with it. As far as cooking goes, still hate it. But it goes deeper into my childhood (same with dishes). But I cook pretty much every day. And like really cook. Especially in the last year I’ve been changing my cooking habits. More fresh veggies are involved. More elaborate recipe type food. Or experimenting. Actually the last month I’ve been switching to Paleo eating. I can’t go 100% Paleo though. I love my tortillas & alcohol 😉

Weekends Then: Oh gosh, my weekend usually started on Thursday but definitely every Friday & Saturday you could find me at a club. Yup just like the song. I called myself a “club rat”. I knew the bouncers, bartenders, DJs, other clubgoers. I was a regular. I loved it. I felt like I belonged. I danced, drank, socialized. I was always in my element at a club and always felt like I was finally in my own skin, which I couldn’t be in my outside life. I’d been doing this since I was 19 going to after hours clubs.

Weekends Now: My son goes to bed at 7ish and then hubby & I watch whatever we have DVR’d. Usually its a late night show from the night before. Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Kimmel or Conan O’Brian. Or we watch a Netflix series. About 9:30 I’m nodding off but I’ll try & push it to 11. Sometimes we will pour some drinks and play a game. I’m actually totally fine with that. That’s a recent thing though. A year and a half ago I was still craving the night life. Now if someone is in town (I do live in Vegas after all), I am down on the Strip so fast with them and the old Gina is back. My cousin was here about a month ago and boy did I let loose at Senor Frogs in Treasure Island. I didn’t mean to. I mean we walked in & I was just standing on the edge of the dance floor checking things out. Next thing I know I am being tapped on the shoulder by one of the club organizers & encouraged to get up on a platform and dance. I mean what is an ex-club rat to do??? 2 hours later I was pooped! But man did I have so much fun. But motherhood does not escape. I got home at 3 am & guess who was up at 5:30? My dear old son. That was a tough day! My point of this one was that 97% of the time I am watching late shows & in bed by 10 on a weekend night & am so content with that.

Ok last thing. Guess who does her own hair & nails? This girl! I mean I’m a stay at home mom on an Army budget. I can’t afford professional coloring every 2-3 weeks which is where I’m at now with my age & stupid gray hairs. And I have a large collection of nail polishes. No more twice a month nail salon visits for me. Again I’m totally fine with that.

The one thing that hasn’t changed though is my car. I still have a nice car. But I need one. Every girl needs a little sparkle.

Oh one more thing. I still dance. Only it’s not on a dance floor or stage or platform. It’s in the living room with my son.

Now THAT is the Good Life…

How Motherhood Has Changed Me Part 1

Published April 18, 2015 by Being Manically Me

Gosh where to begin…

To say that I was a wild child is probably a pretty accurate statement. I’m sure as a kid, I was a good one. Or so my mom says. But in my teens I just couldn’t get enough of experiencing life. I’m still like that actually. Anyway, high school was “the shit” for me. I loved everything about it, except having to sit in class & pay attention lol I used to get bathroom passes a lot & then wander the campus to see who I could find that was also on a “bathroom pass”, and believe me there were quite a few of us. Don’t take it the wrong way though, I still had pretty good grades. I believe my GPA was a 3.88. That’s pretty good right? Of course my mom says if I had just “applied myself” I could have had a 4.0 but where I’m from during those years being smart was so very not cool.

Back then I did a lot of closet partying. Meaning I snuck out a lot to do it. My parents (my mom really) were very strict. I couldn’t wait to get out of the house. I got a job at 15 so I could have my independence. I worked all through my junior & senior year and then after I got off work would go hang out at a co-workers house. The place I worked at was a lot of partying, in the building & out. Perfect place for me!

After graduation, I moved in with my manager, then broke up, then got back together & got married, then he cheated on me so I moved back out. All that took place in just 1 year. But listen I’m not gonna lie, I was very not ready for marriage. I was 18. When we got back together he was in basic training & then AIT. 3 days before he came home on leave I went to a Metallica concert and made out with a guy in the parking lot after. I mean really?? So getting divorced was really not a big deal. 2 weeks after I got home I was dating a guy.

Wow, anyway getting way off track! To me life was about having fun. Enjoy ever minute of every day. Have adventures. Be successful & independent. Travel. Have expensive things. Sleep! And that’s what I was doing. Once I realized in my 20s that having kids probably wasn’t going to happen, I kinda just got ok with it and decided to do things that people with kids can’t do. I traveled a lot with my husband and with my mom/parents.

I worked out. Had my makeup done every day, never went out the door without it on. I went to an upper end salon & got my hair professionally cut, colored & straightened every 2 months. I focused on being good at whatever job I had so that I could have the freedom that a lot of money brings. We bought everything we wanted. I had a very nice car. My husband had his dream truck. I went out every weekend with friends or myself. My husband & I went out to dinner all the time. That was the good life for me.

To be continued …

 

*This & the next post are being re-shared from an old blog of mine. Just really like the story & worth re-telling. I’ll update it with a Part 3*

Friday Favorite – DIY Acrylic Nails

Published April 17, 2015 by Being Manically Me

I have a love/hate relationship with my natural nails. I always had great nails. As I got older they got thinner & so I would get artificial nails put on, which I really like just because of all the pretty things you can do with them. When I got pregnant & we were stationed in a small town, I had them taken off but because of the increased pregnancy hormones my nails were the nails I had in my 20s! It was awesome! Lasted for a few years too and then its just been up & down with them. Sometimes they are nice & sometimes they are thin. Since I started grooming dogs, they just are bad all the time. So I started getting my nails done again. But lately as I’m signing that debit receipt for a $40 fill every 2 weeks, I’m thinking there has to be some other way to get this done! Well being the type of girl who likes to do things myself, you know I googled & youtubed it and then headed over to Sally’s. So here is how it went.

From Sally’s Beauty Supply I purchased this kit ASP Acrylic Student Kit. On Amazon its listed at $41.99 plus shipping. At Sally’s I think I paid around $30 maybe.

20150417_132151

Here is everything that came in the kit, minus the buffing block. That was already mine.

As you can see, I was in desperate need of a fill. I've just been busy & haven't had time to sit in the salon for hours. That's why I figured now would be a good time to learn myself!

As you can see, I was in desperate need of a fill. I’ve just been busy & haven’t had time to sit in the salon for hours. That’s why I figured now would be a good time to learn myself!

I bought this Artificial Nail Tip Clipper at Walmart for about $4. I then cut my nails down to the skin.

I bought this Artificial Nail Tip Clipper at Walmart for about $4. I then cut my nails down to the skin.

20150417_132248

Then I soaked my nails in Acetone for what seemed like days. Those suckers just wouldn’t come off.

20150417_153036

When I finally got all my old nails off, I chose my tips & glued them on. Then I cut them down to my preferred length, which is super short.

20150417_155446

There are different ways to go about applying the acrylic. The one I chose was to fill the included “nail forms” with acrylic powder & then applying it to your nail. This seemed the easiest beginner way to start. Here you can see where I have filled the form with a light coating of the acrylic.

20150417_155648

Here are the filled nail forms on my nails. For some reason I got bubbles in them. I did my right hand first & didn’t have any bubbles. Not sure what I did differently? Oh and the reason for the writing is because I labeled them for which finger they fit on since you can reuse them. Now I don’t have to go through the whole “fitting” process again. I already know which one goes where.

20150417_155838

The forms come off by gently rocking them after about 3 mins. They pop right off, no problem. Here is what it looks like when they come off.

20150417_163127

Here’s what they looked like once I cut them down to where the tips are, which was my desired short length. You can see the nail tip in a couple of them but apparently you can buy Line Eliminator and that will resolve that. I didn’t worry too much about it because I planned on painting them.

20150417_163116

Check out how thin they are. Love that! Its hard to find a nail tech who understands when I tell them I need them thin enough to “feel the scratch” when I have an itch.

20150417_183554

And here they are painted.

So my Friday Favorite pick for today is the ASP Acrylic Nail Kit. They have different kits to chose from and they really aren’t that pricey, especially when compared to going to the salon every couple weeks. It took me about an hour to do one hand but now that I know the process, it won’t take so long next time. Plus I was watching Bar Rescue on DVR & being interrupted by my son too.

I really like them. They are sturdy & not like some of the other do it yourself kits that don’t last too long & you know right from the start they won’t. These just feel secure.

Happy Weekend!

How I Became a Mom

Published April 16, 2015 by Being Manically Me

Ok now take your mind out of the gutter! The way people normally get pregnant was not the easy way for us. There was actually a lot more involved.

I knew from my late teens/early 20s that getting pregnant probably was not going to happen for me. I’m not going to tell you HOW I knew only that I had a lot of fun in my mid to late teens. Hey I’m an 80s child! We didn’t really know the dangers. The kids now are a lot smarter than we were then…well some of them…

Anyway, my husband & I started wanting kids around the time I was 30. We tried the traditional way for awhile & it didn’t work. So then I started doing research & I started charting & tracking things. I really got to know how my body worked. But still no luck. And of course all this was happening in between deployments. So the years went by and I’m getting older & older which means according to medical knowledge it should be getting harder to get pregnant. Wonderful.

Eventually we started infertility treatment. We were fortunate in that the military pays for certain treatments and up to a certain point. The first time I was on something, Clomid I think, I got pregnant. Yeah! I found out about a week or so after my husband left on deployment 2. Well at about the 7 1/2 week mark, I miscarried. As you can imagine, I was devastated. Not only because of the loss but because I was going through it on my own & my husband was having to suffer on his own. I probably stayed in bed for a week and then didn’t leave my house for another 2 weeks.

Anyway, enough of that. It still makes me sad to remember. When my husband came home we got back on meds & then added in artificial insemination. Long story short, I did 6 rounds of Femera alone, then in addition to that med, we did about 3 rounds of artificial insemination. Of course none of it worked.

At that point, we were pretty much done. Done with the treatment and done with each other. It puts a lot of stress on a couple. Another deployment had gone on during this time too. And I had lost my cat that I’d had for 13 years the year before. So we decided it was time to stop everything and just heal for a little while. We got our names on the IVF list, which is something we said we’d never do. Never say never I’ve learned. And we got a dog. More on that another time

So then my husband got orders to transfer to Missouri. Long story short, 2 weeks after I got there (he went 2 months before me) we got pregnant. Completely on our own. The meds had worn off by then and I wasn’t tracking anything because we weren’t trying. So all those people that used to annoy me by saying to “just relax” were right! And now I tell people that. I tell people to stop trying & get a dog! That’s what worked for us!

*I originally posted this in a short lived blog started last year. I think its worth re-posting because of the message. After reading it again, I want to make sure people know that there is a lot more that was left unwritten in this journey. Its a tough, heart breaking, marriage breaking journey. I really simplified it only because I want people to know they aren’t alone. I felt alone because no one I knew was going through or had gone through it. I wasn’t prepared for the things that can occur both physically & mentally. For anyone going through this know you aren’t alone. Seek out others who are or have been there, even if its just through forums. That’s what helped me, was connecting with others through infertility forums. I wish you strength & success*

So here we go again ….

Published April 13, 2015 by Being Manically Me

Hello & welcome to the world of me!

I’ve started blogs before but kinda like my diary, I go for it the first day or 2 & then life gets in the way. I like blogging because I really do have a manic mind & like to “spew” forth my thoughts. Now I don’t at all mean that I’m a maniac or crazy psycho or anything, just that my mind is constantly going with thoughts, ideas, projects etc. If you could open my mind up & peek in, you’d shut it real quick because you’d get dizzy!

So basically I am going to try to blog out what is in my head in the most “me” way I can get away with. Some of the stuff I write about will be fun & whimsical & some of it is going to have you just backing away, but you’ll be back cause I’m real. I tell it like I see it or experience it & I’m a real person who has had real things happen to them.

Oh and you should know too that I am not a “writer”but I like to write, if that makes sense? I remember arguing with my college professor about writing like people talk vs writing literary. For instance, today the sky is blue with a few passing clouds. I would say it pretty much like that or maybe something like the sky is a pretty clear blue with a few whispy clouds. That’s about as creative as I get. He wanted me to say, the sky resembles the blue of robins breast after it finishes partaking of a bath in a gently bubbling stream. That doesn’t even make sense to me! When I write, you are basically just hearing my head, which is kinda scary & my mother would probably say not to do it lol Oh that’s another thing, I am a woman of social media so you will see a lot, did i say a lot??, of LOLs & social media talk. I refuse to be as old as I am and sometimes talk like I think I’m a teenager, although I don’t even think they talk like I do! lol < — see?!

So anyway, lets get on with the show shall we? Just buckle up & enjoy the ride. If one time you don’t see a subject you are particularly interested in, come back another time & you’ll find something completely different. I’m telling you, I have a bundled mind! Oh another thing, I do not engage in drama or fighting. If you don’t like what I say, move on. I probably won’t like what you’ll have to say about not liking what I have to say & I’ll get all stressed out & cry & then come back at you & then it’s drama & seriously, this is the internet. Let’s not fight with our screens ok?

Hopeful @ Forty

A site for those of us "over 40's" that are looking to conceive after our 'supposed' past-sell-date!

BiPolarity Ensuing

The ramblings of a bipolar sober alcoholic.

Tribeloco

A community for the insanely stylish and absurdly curious